lesbian-ed:

It is unfortunate to say that your experience is not an unique one; too often women feel like the only relationships that are actually valid/real are heterosexual ones, and that is not an indicative of sexuality, but a symptom of a heteropatriarchal society, which dictates a woman is only a real woman when she is with a man, that she is only an adult once she’s married one, that she’s only had sex once a man has “devirginized” her, that she’s only important if she centers men in her life.

These are little teachings we learn every single day in a society which centers heterosexuality above all, that pretends homosexuality is a deviation and therefore less important, and that believes a woman is only at her prime whenever she is under the direct influence of a man. 

These beliefs are, in fact, lies. True love is only possible when you are with the person you’re attracted to, and if you are literally repulsed by men, I find it unlikely you’d ever be able to love and be attracted anyone who isn’t a woman.

I know it seems scary, I know it’s hard, I know it doesn’t necessarily feel like the path right now, standing from the outside looking in, trying to assess a lovelife which hasn’t yet began. However, trust me, the moment you find the right woman, things fall right into place. It’s like all doubts abandon the building, and suddenly you realize there is nothing that could feel more right that being right there with the woman of your dreams. 

You might want to look into feminism as well, as a way to learn and to remind yourself that your life does not depend upon men in order to be complete and good. You do not depend on men. You’ll be just fine and great without them in your life, and the only reason you’re scared of any other possibility is because you grew up hearing that happily ever after involves a man and a woman. 

Society has failed you and it has failed every single homosexual and bisexual woman when it taught us since we were little kids that woman’s place is with men. Compulsory heterosexuality is very much present in lesbians’ lives. Life will teach you otherwise, however. It won’t be easy, but face your fears, and stand up to your own hesitations. Know that relationships between women are just as fulfilling and full of love as any other relationship, and there is no loss of value and importance when it comes to lesbian relationships. 

I wish you all the best, and that this kind of thought process leaves you be so   you can find peace and happiness.

/Mod A